What I want the Most
by Nightcore4life
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru put on an act for the girls. It's just an act, the only love they feel for each other is brotherly love... Or is it?


"Kaoru...you're so beautiful..." my identical brother whispered while all the girls surrounding us squealed. I turned my head away and moaned. "Hikaru...not in front of everyone..." I spoke as Hikaru leaned in closer to my face. But of course, the bell just had to ring. "Aw, that's a shame. We'll just have to finish this tonight..." Hikaru winked at me and pulled away from my body. All the girls looked pissed, but still squealed.

Hikaru ran to Haruhi who was walking far in front of us, on her way to the cafeteria. I followed of course. I felt the blood in my veins boil when I heard my brother call her name. I didn't hate her. I actually thought I used to have a crush on her, but that all changed when I began to realize my feelings for my brother. How my heart pounds when he touches me, the way he talks to me in that seductive voice although I knew it was fake, it still made my heart beat like a rabbit's. I saw that these sort of things never happened when I was near Haruhi. My heart wouldn't pound like crazy, she didn't turn me on at all, and I realized I plainly wasn't attracted to girls. I found that I mistook my feelings for love, when they were really just something I felt for a kind friend.

Whenever Hikaru touched me, wrapped his arms around me, whether it was for the girls or out of brotherly love, I never wanted it to end. The warmth I feel with his arms around me was sensational. But I knew it was just an unrequited love, Hikaru loved Haruhi, and I couldn't do anything about it. I knew it was best to keep these feelings locked away, we already had a good relationship, and I didn't want to ruin it. I didn't want to see that beautiful smile ripped away from me before my very eyes.

I had caught up with the two by the time we made it to the cafeteria. Haruhi walked to one of the tables with her bento in her arms. "We'll be there after we get our lunch!" Hikaru shouted to the brunette girl. "Okay!" she replied. We got in line to get our lunch next to each other. My heart began to ache as it always did when Hikaru gave that beautiful smile to Haruhi. 'Don't smile at her...' I thought angrily. 'The only one who you can give that smile to is me!' I tried to cool my anger. It was bad when this happened, I needed to relax.

"Kaoru~!" Hikaru sang, snapping me out of my daze. "W-What?" I stammered. "What do you want? I told you I'd get your lunch for you today. What do you want?" Hikaru asked me. I had forgotten how Hikaru had promised to pay for my lunch today because I had bought his lunch last time. I settled for a simple hamburger and Snapple. Hikaru happily paid for it and handed me the tray before buying his own lunch. "Thanks Hikaru." I said blushing a tiny bit as we walked to the table where Haruhi was waiting. My brother patted me on the back. "No problem! I owe you!" he exclaimed happily flashing his dazzling smile at me. I couldn't help but smile back.

But his gaze averted from mine as we approached Haruhi and Tamaki who was now sitting next to her. Hikaru moved from my side to greet the two. I growled under my breath. I walked to the table too, and sat down next to Hikaru. I looked down at my hand that was on the bench to see that Hikaru's fingers were almost touching mine. A red hue spread across my face. I began to move my fingers more towards his until our finger tips touched. I grew nervous and my face turned red. I finally intertwined my fingers with his.

My heart pounded like crazy as I stared at our fingers. I yearned to do more than this, to cuddle with him, to kiss him, for him to make me feel like he loved me. But these thoughts stopped when he looked at me. "Kaoru?" Hikaru looked at me, confused. My face turned even more red. I quickly pulled my hand away from his. "S-Sorry! I didn't notice!" I lied. My brother looked at me with concern in his eyes. "Kaoru, your face is flustered. Are you sick?" he asked. Hikaru reached out to touch me, but I flinched. I wanted to let him touch me and take me into his warm and loving arms, but I couldn't. I would just end up falling for him more than I had already, and my heart would be burned down in pain.

"Kaoru..." Hikaru whispered with a hurt look in his eyes. Tears began to form in the corners of my eyes. I stood from where I sat and ran in the direction of the bathroom. "Kaoru!" Hikaru exclaimed. I burst through the restroom door. Luckily, no one was there to see me break down. I went into a stall and locked it. I dropped to my knees as the tears I had been holding in were released onto my flustered cheeks. "Hikaru, I love you." I quietly cried.

I heard the door to the bathroom burst open and then heard Hikaru's voice. "Kaoru! I know you're in here!" he shouted. I heard his footsteps get louder as he came closer to the stall I was in. I tensed when he knocked on the door. 'No, I can't let him see me like this.' I told myself. "Kaoru?" Hikaru asked softly. "G-Go away." I forced myself to say. "I won't go away knowing that you're crying." Hikaru whispered. I blushed deeply. 'He knows I'm crying!' I thought, embarrassed. Hikaru chuckled lightly.

"Come on, let me in before I crawl under the door." Hikaru said. I finally gave in and opened the stall door. Hikaru walked in and closed the door behind him. "H-Hikaru?" I asked, confused. He put a finger on my lips. "No one shall interrupt our conversation." he whispered. I stared at the ground sadly as another hot tear spilled down my face. Hikaru caressed my cheek and smiled sadly. He leaned closer to me. "Come on, tell me what's wrong." he whispered in my ear.

"Why...?" I asked, once again on the verge of tears. "Why what?" Hikaru asked, confused about what I was talking about. "Why can't I be like her?!" I asked as I began breaking down. I dropped to my knees and broke out in more tears. "Why can't you love me like you love Haruhi?! Why can't you see that I love you as so much more than a mere brother?! Why don't you know that your smile belongs to me and I belong to you!?" I finished talking, catching my breath. Suddenly realizing that I had just confessed, that our whole relationship had just been ruined, I covered my face with my hands in shame. "N-No...that's not..." I trailed off.

Hikaru bent down in front of me and smiled. He took my hands and removed them from my face, then intertwined them together. "Kaoru...I never thought I'd be able to say this but, I don't love Haruhi. I just pretend to because I want to make my very special somebody jealous and fall for me." my brother whispered. I looked up at him with a tiny glimpse of hope in my eyes. He smiled kindly. "R-Really?" I asked as my wounded heart began to heal. Hikaru nodded. "He's really handsome, just like me." Hikaru chuckled softly. "He's really nice, has awesome hair, and beautiful eyes." Hikaru whispered leaning closer to me. "He's my brother." he smiled. Our lips were centimeters away. "And he's you." was the last thing Hikaru whispered before closing the gap between our lips.

My eyes widened as complete bliss took over my heart and soul. 'He loves me...' I thought as I closed my eyes and melted into the kiss. Hikaru pulled away and smiled at me. "I love you, Kaoru." he whispered. I was so happy, I wanted to stay like this forever, looking into those hypnotic golden eyes. "I-I love you too!" I stuttered before wrapping my arms around him. "I love you so damn much! Don't let anyone steal that smile away! I'll die without seeing your beauty!" I exclaimed tightening my grip around him. Hikaru smiled. "Hey, that's my line." he joked before kissing my cheek. "How 'bout this, I'll let you claim my smile as yours, if you let me have some fun with you tonight." Hikaru whispered playfully. I blushed, but smiled. "S-Sure." I stammered before kissing my brother again. For the first time in a long time, I felt truly happy, because Hikaru's smile was mine, and so was his love, what I wanted the most.


End file.
